Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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