we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize
