So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
