I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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