try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
