If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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