I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
