Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.

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(703): View more from Virginia

And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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(519): View more from Ontario

That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

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(712): View more from Iowa

You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

(712): View more from Iowa

On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes

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