I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
