I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
