I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
