Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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