just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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