I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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