I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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