I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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