Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
