the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
