is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
