Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
