He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
