i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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