i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
