My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
