Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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