In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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