even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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