a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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