I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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