About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Can you repeat that, but with context?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
