Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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