I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
