yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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