yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
