You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
