He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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