I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
