We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
