can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
