i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
