I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
