My room smells like vodka and shame
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
