NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
