i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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