yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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