4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
