Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
