How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
