I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
