its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
